It was like I hadn't breathed in 41 weeks, then I held my crying, 8lb 10oz, 23 inch long son, Conrad Levi Harter. I remember thinking at each healthy milestone of my pregnancy that "I guess we get to keep him". There were days when I wondered if I would get to hold him in my arms and then for how long? When they handed, my sweet sweet Conrad to me, Ricky and I had tears of joy, exhaustion, and relief. There was a burden lifted that I didn't realize was so heavily weighing on me. I had lost my previous baby before we could see much more than her heartbeat, and now I was holding my healthy strong, long, sweet sweet baby boy. I could finally breath. I was holding my "Rainbow Baby".
October is set aside to remember those babies that we have lost. While this has reminded me of my precious Peace Lynn and of the babies my friends have lost, I have also been reminded of God's grace to my family. Grace shows up differently in every family. I don't know what it looks like for you or how long it took for you to see it or if you have even seen it yet. I pray that His Grace will be apparent to you.
While I was pregnant I saw God's Grace in my lack of worrying. I think I actually had more peace than I did with my other 3 pregnancies, though I had a different kind of reality too. I also found God's Grace in His Word, subtle reminders that I wasn't alone and that God has plans and comfort no matter what would come our way.
Some of you may not be familiar with what a "Rainbow Baby" is so I found this explanation on a blog......
"In some circles, babies born to families after the loss a a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies". The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. We understand that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope." BabyandBump
Everyday we watch Conrad grow is one more day that God's Grace is lavished on us. His life is a sign of hope for our family. A hope that God will use the children we have to bring Glory to His Name. A hope that God will continue to grow our family. This month we celebrate 9 months of being able to hold him in our arms and watch him grow. We are thankful for everyday we have had with Conrad and everyday that God will bless us with after that. I am going to post a picture of him and would love to see pictures of your "Rainbow Babies" if you would share.
Carrie Harter
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